Parker's newest fashion statement

Two years and two months ago, Parker received a pair of pajamas for Christmas. He was 7 months old. He refuses to stop wearing them. He'll be 3 in May.

Every time he insists on wearing these too-small-a-year-and-a-half-ago-jammies, I pray that no unannounced visitor stops by. So if you ever happen to be that visitor, I promise he has PJ's that fit. He just prefers short-sleeves, a scoop neck, and wedgie heaven. That can't be comfortable.

When will he realize that?

Laundry Mishaps

Those of you who know my mom, know what a great housekeeper she is. Almost before you've finished your dinner, she has your plate in the dishwasher. Before you take your shoes off, they're stowed away in some unknown closet. Before your dirty clothes hit the laundry basket, they're washed, dried, folded and put away.

It's a good thing I take after my mom. Because if I didn't, clothes might occasionally pile up. But since I'm so on top of things (like my mother), they of course never do.

And speaking of laundry, my mom always taught me to wash whites with whites, darks with darks, and lighter colors with their likes. And usually in small loads. Since the laundry never piles up, of course.

So today when I finished folding all the laundry (that didn't take two hours...since of course I've been so on top of things the past few weeks...), I wouldn't have dreamed of throwing all the clothes we've worn in the past two days into one load...just to have everything clean and put away at once. I would NEVER do that. Because my mom never would.

If I did think it a good idea to throw everything into the washer (not to mention the still-wet-from-yesterday clothes I forgot to put in the dryer), that would mean a HUGE load with every variety of color. White. Black. And lots of pink. Lots of new, bright pink baby clothes. Good thing I know better than to mix all those colors.

I can only imagine what would've happened. Like Joe's white underwear...pink. Or maybe Avery's cute, white shorts and new white blouse...pink. Or my family reunion t-shirt...pink tie die. And any white socks? Pink.

Good thing I know better. Because as much as I love pink, it just wouldn't be pretty. And my mom would probably have a heart attack. So don't worry mom...I know better. Ahem.

Confessions

Lately I haven't quite measured up as the "homemaker" I'd like to be. Here are a few reasons why....

1. The two weeks worth of laundry stacked on my bed. Every night we put it back into the laundry baskets on the floor before going to bed, and every morning I put it back onto the bed with hopes that it will somehow get folded. Hasn't happened.

2. A month and a half ago we FINALLY planted a garden. We were so excited to eat the garden-fresh tomatoes. Doesn't look too promising...

...the peppers are even worse!

3. And finally, most of our meals really do resemble this...

Any suggestions?

Blissful Bumbo Baby Blowouts!

Dearest Makers of the Bumbo Baby Seat ,

Yesterday my mommy bought one of your super Bumbo seats. She was excited about all the cool features she read about...

"The Bumbo Baby Seat is a snug and cozy environment for your baby. This revolutionary infant chair is uniquely designed according to the baby’s posture. The Bumbo enables babies to sit upright all by themselves! Bumbo Baby Seats are suitable for babies from as soon as they can support their own heads unaided until they can get out of the seat on their own."

The soft pink foam is squishy and fabulous. I could sit in my comfy new Bumbo all day long. My mom contemplated purchasing this chair for several months so that she could have the "extra set of hands" you talk about. You need to be aware, however, that she would have bought it MUCH SOONER if you'd advertised the REAL benefit!

You see, I've been constipated for the majority of my short life. That's right...it's a miracle if I poop twice in one week! My mom is up with me several times each night. Sure I wake up to eat, but mostly I wake up to let out lots and lots of stinky air.

Nursing is never a peaceful time for me. I squirm, yelp, kick, and let out more gas until my tummy is full. The problem is that it's ALWAYS full because it never gets emptied! Adding rice cereal to my diet has only increased the constipation. This is where YOU come in, dear Bumbo makers.

Every time I sit in the Bumbo, we're guaranteed a major blowout! My mom's friend, Aly told her this would happen. Boy was she right!!! As I become more regular, maybe the blowouts won't be so major. My tummy, however, thanks you either way!

So here's my advice along with my own testimonial. Add the feature of preventing and curing constipation to your Bumbo description, and your sales will be through the roof! It really is the greatest thing since sliced bread!

Happily yours,

The Blowout Queen

I got the idea for a "letter from a customer" from my hilarious cousin, Christie. A few months ago, she wrote a witty letter to the Quaker Crispy Rice Cakes people.

I Want a Brownie!!!!

Can someone else be the mom today?

Who looks better?

Hard Boiled Egg Penguin Salad Toppers and more...

When we heard that Deal or No Deal was coming to town, we knew that it was destiny! Joe HAD to try out! A week ago when we should have been planting a garden, going to the park, cleaning the house, etc., we were standing in line with thousands of other people! Actually Joe went by himself and we met him after Parker's nap. We had the option to make a five minute video instead of waiting for 10 hours, but Joe thought he could make a better impression in person. It worked for the Price is Right in 2005! So Joe showed up in his Elmo T-shirt...dressed to impress!

Joe made it past the first interviewer using his Elmo voice. He made it through the second interviewer singing the National Anthem like a chicken. He resorted back to Elmo for the third interview and was told to leave his application where it was, and "we'll call you!" So we're anxiously waiting by the phone for that call that will probably never come! Oh well! I'm proud of my husband for having no shame if it means he could possibly have a chance at winning some money! Which game show should he go for next?

As part of the process, we had to fill out a NINE page application! I actually learned some new things about my husband and thought I would share! Here are a few of the questions along with his answers:

1) If you were going to be in People magazine, what inside info about you would be put up next to your picture?

Elmo impersonator, has run 8 marathons, puts ketchup on French Toast, past member of a prestigious Men's Chorus, showcased "The Wave" hairstyle at age 11, and is a master baby swaddler.

2)Describe one of your most embarrassing moments:

When in the 4th grade, every student was asked to invent something and present it to the class. I struggled to think of something, so I went to my Grandma for help. She suggested a break-through idea--a "hard-boiled egg penguin salad topper!" I was desperate, so I went with it. When the big day to present our inventions arrived, I realized very quickly that my invention was hands-down the lamest! I was so embarrassed, that I destroyed any evidence of my hard-boiled egg masterpiece before any of my friends witnessed it.

3) What is the weirdest thing about you?

I can transform most any song into a chicken melody.

So there you have it...a taste of my husband. The hard-boiled egg penguin salad topper story had me crying, I was laughing so hard! Who would think of that? I've been trying to think of how I would answer these questions and more. Maybe I'll post my answers later! How about you???

Mr. Fix It

Several months ago, one of our iPods broke. Joe bought it in 2005 with his graduation money. It's one of the classic models....not as cool as all the new ones (video, touch, etc.), but GREAT for our needs. I don't REALLY know what 20GB means, but I know that it's enough to hold more music than we'll probably ever need. And WAY more than our 1GB nano. I don't know how it broke, but for the past several months, the only thing we've been able to see on the screen is a frowny face and a message to contact Apple Support. I tried everything they suggested, but to no avail. When I looked to see how much it would cost to fix it, I figured we might as well just buy a new one rather than pay $249! But we can't exactly fork up the money for a new one, either, so it's been sitting in the junk drawer for a while. Today Parker found it. I let him play with it...he couldn't possibly damage it more. He kept saying, "Music?" to which I responded, "It's broken. We can't play music right now." To which he responded, "I fix it." So he did his thing, pushing as many buttons as he could at once. A few minutes later he said, "Here" and handed me the iPod. I looked at it...the frowny face no longer appeared on the screen. Instead were ALL OF MY PLAYLISTS!!! I yelled, "Parker! You fixed it!" He got a really scared look on his face thinking he was in trouble, but got excited when I ran and turned on the music! So send your broken iPods Parker's way, along with $100...discount included!

Diapers and regularity!

About a month ago, Avery had about 4 diapers left. For a newborn, this equals about 2 hours. I sent Joe to the store to replenish the supply. Since Sam's Club is closer than Costco, he went there. This has proven to be disastrous in the past (remember the bread incident?) but I didn't think he could fail at diaper buying. I told him what size to buy, and I thought he knew how I felt about generic diapers for newborns. I actually don't mind the Kirkland brand diapers for Parker, but they're actually more expensive than Huggies now...go figure. Sam's Club diapers are a different story. So when Joe came home with a box of TWO HUNDRED AND SIXTEEN crappy diapers, I was a little bugged. When I found out that they weren't really any cheaper than the good ones, I was a little more bugged. His thinking was that the Huggies box held a lot more diapers, and she might grow out of them before we finished the box. So he bought the smaller box (216 diapers) and saved $1.08! Before blogging about it, I decided to give the diapers a try. I had no choice. All four I had left were gone. I really did appreciate Joe going to the store for me, and I wasn't about to brave Sam's Club on my own to return them the next day. After a day of using them, however, I decided that they really weren't so bad after all (as much as I hated to admit it). That was when Avery was pooping five times a day (or more). Now the poor thing is only pooping once a day or once every other day. My almost-two-year old is (unfortunately for me) MUCH more regular...could it be the difference between women and men? The diapers are definitely not holding up! I don't know that Pampers or Huggies would be either, given the circumstances. I so love to be right, though, so I think I will blame the countless blowouts on the diapers. The first 200 were fine, but these last 16 are just not going to work! Do you think my hubby will fall for it? To his credit, he has successfully bought me bread several times now. I'm counting on the right brand of diapers from now on, too.